The Rump Cover
I see a lot of women wear what I call the 'rump cover.' Yeah, guys wear 'em too, I guess (moreso during the preppy '80s, though, unless I'm missing something); however, to my observation, the 'rump cover' appears to be more of a ladies 'deal.'
The 'rump cover' is a device whereby you wrap a big ol' sweatshirt, hoodie, or somesuch around your waist such that the article of clothing strategically covers your derrière. My wife Susan was kind enough to snap a digital image of yours truly as an object lesson for y'all to heckle (please forgive the water/dust/miscellaneous detritus that borked the camera lens and thus the picture quality; it'll do, however):
I asked Susan point-blank for her opinion regarding ladies' motivations for wearing 'rump covers.' While Sue was wise enough to recognize that she cannot speak for all women, she did provide some valuable insight on the matter. Sue said that she and other women she knows wear 'rump covers' for one or more of the following reasons:
- to have a 'cloak' handy in case the room gets too cold
- to possess an ad-hoc 'clothes hanger' in the event that the room gets too warm
- to attenuate the problem of 'peeking' undies in low-rise jeans (that is to say, overly visible underwear, not necessarily lecherous 'lookers')
- to ward off self-consciousness about the self-perception of having a 'big butt'
Sue's information was quite a revelation for me! Gentlemen in my readership, are we one with the notion that, almost to a man, whenever we see a woman with a 'rump cover,' the first questions that we ask ourselves, given our ongoing inner self-talk, are:
- Is that woman overly self-conscious of her butt?
- Does that woman realize that the bulky sweatshirt tied around her waist makes her butt look three times bigger than it actually is?
Ladies in my readership, I earnestly hope that I have not come across to you in any way, shape, or measure as misogynistic, male chauvinistic, or otherwise objectionable.
Please take this post in the spirit in which it is intended: light 'n' fluffy.
See you 'round.